Casino Royale Trailer : Even James Bond Plays Poker

October 18th, 2012  :  Written by Patriot #1

In a strikingly bold move, Hollywood executives have decided to take two innocuous topics – terrorism and poker – and blend them together into one film, the new James Bond actioner Casino Royale. What will they think of next? [ed. note: I believe this is sarcasm]

Ernst Stavro Blofeld pets his... catThis time Bond plays high stakes poker against a private banker who “funds the world’s terrorists.” Oh man. They say it’s based on the original Ian Fleming book, and subsequent movie, but I’m not so sure of this. Were poker and terrorism hot topics back in the early 60’s? And didn’t Woody Allen play Bond in the original film? Perhaps he reprises his role…

Can’t we go back to the day when Ernst Stavro Blofeld simply wanted to steal nuclear weapons? SPECTRE was so much easier to deal with, what with all the infighting among villians and the constant electrocution for disloyalty. They practically killed themselves off. Today we would call this “cannibalizing your market share.”

Blofeld: The firing power inside my crater is enough to annihilate a small army. You can watch it all on TV. It’s the last program you’re likely to see.

James Bond: Well, if I’m gonna be forced to watch television, may I smoke?

Blofeld: Yes. Give him his cigarettes. It won’t be the nicotine that kills you, Mr. Bond.

Anyway… here’s the new trailer from Casino Royale.

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